


i walk out in stormy weather

by wegotogether



Category: Scream (TV)
Genre: Emma is mentioned, Established Relationship, F/F, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, brooke is a sucker for her gf, emma's boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28620054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wegotogether/pseuds/wegotogether
Summary: I am Brooke Maddox, I am fierce, I am suave, I can fluster my girlfriend.“What are you doing here?” You wince, she chuckles again. “It’s nice to see you- here- at my home- I mean you look nice- fuck.”“I thought you were smooth.”
Relationships: Audrey Jensen/Brooke Maddox
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	i walk out in stormy weather

**Author's Note:**

> this is more of a vent thing (I am single) but since I'm feeling it and proud of this a lil  
> thought i'd share  
> this ship deserves more love thank you
> 
> title from Night Time by The XX
> 
> unbeta'd
> 
> tumblr: tumblr: https://cardiaceyes.tumblr.com/

You have new friends, or rather, you _want_ them to be genuine friends. 

You have a fucking issue and you just- felt like a little time off from dealing with you was good for her before you broke down or _confessed_ to Audrey like everyone seems to think you should.

_‘You’re already dating, why would that be such a bad thing?’_

_‘Because I’ve been in love with her for three years and we’ve only been dating for three months.’_

Because you don’t want to scare her away.

Emma’s boyfriend, Shane, was chivalrous enough to go with you when you met them, and the two of you were brought into their circle. 

From the glances and snarky comments about other people, you _should_ have known better and you think subconsciously you did, but here you are, in a group chat rolling your eyes as their influx of obnoxious messages come in. Asking you and Shane to show up at a small get together.

You know you were desperate for more people to connect with. You used to connect with people easily, a politician's daughter had to.

So far they don’t seem to care about you as a person. You try to ignore the sting in your chest.

You survived Lakewood, you’re famous in a way you didn’t want, and they just parade you around like s trophy. For the most part, you can ignore that. You can work past it as long as they supply you with alcohol.

They don’t like it though when you call out their cruel practices with a sharp, _‘what are you teenagers?!’_ and they stop when you threaten to leave, they become uncomfortable with the idea that you know they only really want you around to gloat at other people.

It’s not a healthy friendship, but- it gets you away from the things in your head. The pointless drama. You don’t want to rely on your _real friends_ for that.

 _‘They’re just soul suckers, Brooke. Why are you hanging out with them?’_ Audrey tells you all the time.

You want distance from your thoughts because you can’t control your emotions when an episode hits and honestly- Audrey shouldn’t have to deal with you like that. She shouldn’t have to constantly crawl in bed with you to hold you because you can’t get out of it. She shouldn’t have to feel obligated to take care of you.

She shouldn’t have to deal with the way you _feel._

You’re in love with her, and you know you are, and you’re so certain that if- _when_ another episode hits and she’s there again, you’ll confess to her after. You will. It’s not how you should tell her but it’s so difficult not to when she looks at you so softly and the only thing she ever asks in return for taking care of you is just to come over and watch movies.

Just you.

You know she’s your girlfriend, even if neither of you has used the label yet, it’s undeniable, and she’d be there for you in a heartbeat but, you don’t like the idea of being a burden. You don’t want to become _dependent_ on her like that. It’s unhealthy. So you’ve _tried_ to make new friends.

So before she can message you and you change your mind about not asking her to come over, you reply to the group chat after Shane says he’ll go if you do.

 **QueenB:** Sure if there will be booze   
**Elliot:** Nice shit   
**Ethan:** Alright! I can win my title back!   
**Ava:** Careful E2, Brooke drinks everyone under the table   
**Soap:** Oof   
**Shane:** I’ll pick you up Brooke 

You sigh, laying back against your bed, and set your phone down. You let your eyes slowly close.

You don’t fall asleep, you just _rest._ You’re so tired. Everything feels heavy.

\--

The knock makes you move. 

You grumble a little, but slip off of your bed and pull your shoes on as you grab your bag. Throwing it onto your desk, you slide your sunglasses on over your eyes and slip the jacket she left, over your shoulders.

Its black color doesn’t match with the bright colors you tend to sport, but you don’t really care. You’re stealing it fair and square, it’s also a comfort. When you’re done you grab your bag, and move downstairs.

When you reach the foot of the stairs, you pause for a moment to pull your phone out and let Emma know you’ll be out. She’s your roommate but she‘s your best friend, so she knows you well enough to have taken the keys with her before she left.

Another knock comes and you pocket your phone, rushing to open it.

“Alright Shane, if you’re going to knock that fucking mu-” A smile makes you pause, it’s so bright and happy to see you, you feel breathless, “-ch.”

You hear a snort and glance behind _Audrey, your_ girlfriend to find Shane leaning out of his truck with a smug smile. He watches as the irritation leaves you the moment you see her. 

Audrey leans forward slightly and your eyes shoot back to her. You still haven’t taken a breath and she looks at you knowingly, proud, and her hands move to your face. You swallow as she does. You’re still not used to affection for the sake of affection. 

You’ve been dating her for three months. You make _her_ speechless usually.

She lifts the sunglasses from your face, moving them to rest on top of your head and she looks satisfied.

“Hi.” You manage.

“Hey.” She chuckles. “I like seeing your eyes.”

“Yeah.” You breathe out. 

Her smile turns into a smirk of her own and suddenly she’s taking a step forward, looking down at you with amusement written across her face. If you could fucking speak, that’d be fucking perfect.

_I am Brooke Maddox, I am fierce, I am suave, I can fluster my girlfriend._

“What are you doing here?” You wince, she chuckles again. “It’s nice to see you- here- at my home- I mean you look nice- _fuck._ ”

“I thought you were smooth.”

You look up at her again, giving her a halfhearted glare. She just raises her brows and grins at herself. You press your lips into a thin line and set your hands on your hips.

“I wanted to come see you. You said I could any time, and Shane was over hanging with Noah so I asked if I could catch a ride.” She looks smug. Too smug. “He said sure, there’s a new camera place pretty close to where you guys are going to hang. So-”

You raise a brow, shifting your weight to your left foot.

“Hm. So can I get a redo on my-”

“Nope.” She chuckles again.

“Okay.”

Before she can reply, you lean up and kiss her cheek. When you drop back down to your feet you grab her hand and pull her towards Shane’s truck, he laughs but she lets you drag her. 

You pause when you open the door and turn back to her, she looks at you expectantly.

“You know you’re my favorite person, right?”

“I’d be concerned if I wasn’t.” She smiles, you finally smile back. “Now let’s go, a future filmmaker can’t make student films without new decent gear.”

You roll your eyes and slide in.

“Nerd.”

She just smiles at you.

Shane grins, waiting for you two to buckle up.

\--

The three of you opt to _shop_ first.

You wanted distance between your struggles and _her_ , but when she’s close you give in far too quickly and think far too much about her. There’s not enough distance but for now, you can pretend like you never wanted it in the first place, or that she didn’t realize you were putting distance between the two of you. It was never large, but it was there.

(she noticed, you know she did. Her messages started to slow out of respect for you. You think maybe this is her way of confronting you quietly, just showing up.

You know she’d leave if you ask her to. You don’t think you _could_ ask her to leave.)

You cracked the moment you saw her.

She’s tried to tell you she’ll walk back, call Noah, Emma, or just film things around the town to break in whatever she opts to buy- but when you asked her to come with you. For a couple of drinks and then the three of you could leave, she caved in. She smiled at you.

So you’re in a store dedicated to cameras with your girlfriend, obsessed with filming, while Shane went to the outdoor store next door. 

You don’t have a fucking clue what you’re looking at, and that pang of feeling like a burden grows slightly, but when she rambles about lenses and quality and...HDMI ports you listen to her. Even if it doesn’t make any sense.

She’s ecstatic.

You can’t keep up with this interest though, for long. You don’t have a lot of energy, and you’re so tired, the knowledge is kind of overwhelming.

“Hey.” You turn your head the moment you feel her hand on your wrist.

She looks concerned, and you feel awful. She shouldn’t be. You shouldn’t bother her like this.

“You okay?” Before you can speak she nervously clarifies. “You look, tired. I just want to make sure-”

“I don’t look very sexy do I?” You try to keep your tone amused, light.

She snorts and rolls her eyes.

“I’ve seen you in a hospital gown with bed hair, you look gorgeous all the time.”

You grin this time, leaning against the wall closest to you. Smug that she thinks so. She recognizes the look on your face and rubs the back of her neck embarrassed.

“Thanks, babe.”

She looks back at you before her gaze flickers away for a short second. You can’t follow it but when she looks back at you, the concern is there. She’s never really let you dissuade or distract her when it’s important.

“Brooke-”

She squeezes your arm but doesn’t say much more. 

You know the look she gives you. It means _I’m here if you want to talk. I care for you. You have me. I won't push you._

And it always seems to touch another part of you. You push off of the wall and move towards her as she opens her arms letting you sink into her. Her arms wrap around you securely, you breathe out in relief.

You hide your face in her neck and for a couple of moments, you let yourself forget about the world around you.

When you pull back she cups your face and kisses you softly once. You smile gratefully and lean yourself against her shoulder.

She navigates the store with you tucked against her until it’s time to check out.

She lets you buy her an expensive new camera too, understanding _that_ is part of your love language.

Shane meets the two of you at his truck, his face confused.

“What’s up?” Audrey asks, opening the door as everyone climbs in.

“I just saw Elliot’s girlfriend, Soap, walking out of a phone store.”

You let out a small sigh. You don’t want to wait nor do you care what Soap was doing. Instead, you just sigh and pull Audrey in. 

You just want to drink a little and go home. 

You want to go home with her.

\--

The moment she takes a seat, you pass her, her drink. 

You glance up to find Ethan staring at her. Like he's trying to _not_ glare at her. He's never liked her- none of them have but she braves them for _you._ So you decide to return the favor.

You switch your beer to the other hand. Leaning down, you move her leg so it's not propped in her lap. She glances up at you and waits. You _carefully and slowly_ lower yourself down into her lap, adjusting yourself slightly and throwing an arm around her shoulders. 

You lean into her.

She's still looking up at you. Her cheeks dust pink _slightly_ but the moment you smile at her she softens. One of her arms moves to wrap around your waist. Her other hand still holds her drink.

You glance up and find Ethan watching you two in surprise. You roll your eyes. He still hasn't got the hint despite blatantly telling everyone, Shane telling them. He's hopeless and you're annoyed.

You cross your legs and decide to ignore him.

You move your beer to the hand around her neck again and bring your hand to run through her hair once, fixing it. Her eyes flicker closed for a second. It’s such an easy weak spot, one of the quickest ways to get her to relax. You can feel it work.

When her eyes open, the pink cheeks fade and she sighs in content. You just smile and take a sip of your drink before turning your head to focus on the conversation around you, not that you care, but it’s all just pointless gossip that is so easy to follow or zone out of. 

Her grip around you tightens for a moment, and you sink into her further as you listen.

“-it’s just _easy._ He got a fake I.D. and-”

 _Or not._ You roll your eyes and take a swig of your drink.

You can feel Audrey’s eyes on you. You ignore the intensity of them, refuse to meet them, and you know she wants to ask what’s up but won’t. You being here with her is enough.

Eventually, you feel her hand slide into one of your back pockets. You glance at her and notice her eyes cast on Ethan. Audrey looks bored, amused, but Ethan- oh he looks _upset._ It’s enough for you to choke out a laugh.

Elliot stops his story and looks at you.

“Sorry.” you shrug innocently. “Go on. No more interruptions.

He grins like he thinks his story is why you laughed. It’s not, but it’s none of his business.

You push yourself off of her after a few minutes, standing with an empty bottle. No one else has an empty bottle.

Audrey looks at you like she might say something. You smile.

“I’ll be back, I promise.” You look at the others, Ethan especially. “Be nice to my _girlfriend,_ or I will take someone's head off.”

Audrey looks surprised but turns back to the group a little smug. You roll your eyes and slip into the kitchen, looking for another bottle to take.

\--

_One_ beer isn’t enough. It never really is.

You don’t get to find another however, the kitchen is big, but the moment you hear Audrey practically yelling with what sounds like Ethan and Ava trying to combat her. You sigh, clenching your teeth, and slam the cabinet door shut. It goes silent shortly after.

You’re going to snap, and you know you are, with no restraint because you are _deeply_ and _incredibly_ tired. Your exhaustion has been the culmination of many things, and it’s not as bad as it usually is but it still leaves you with no energy to do anything least of all stop yourself from snapping. 

The fact you got dressed today was a fucking miracle.

And you- you can’t do _much_ to protect people. You don’t have physical strength, but you have biting words that _‘could tear nations apart’_ as Emma likes to put it. Most of the time you speak with restraint, never saying what you really want to.

When it comes to Emma, Audrey, Noah even, you don’t have restraint.

Audrey, right now, is what fuels your angry footsteps to the living room. You find Audrey standing with Ethan leaning into her space, too close. The rest of the group is silent, but Shane has an arm between them like it’s doing anything. At least he’s trying.

“You fucking frea-”

Before he can finish his sentence you bark out an angry, “Hey!”

Audrey’s body, still tense, turns to you, and the moment she sees the look in your eyes she looks a little scared. Ethan’s gaze turns to you, and he smirks. You’re not entirely sure what he thinks he’s done. Shane looks relieved.

The moment you march forward, Shane retracts his arm like it’s going to be ripped off. You hold a finger up to Audrey who tries to speak, and she goes silent. 

Ethan opens his mouth to say something, but your palms slam into his chest as you push him as hard as you fucking can. He doesn’t have time to catch himself. He falls back, missing his chair, his ass slams against the floor just in front of it. 

Everyone goes silent as you glare him down, and for a moment he looks angry before realization dawns on his face. You’re angry at _him_ and your wrath is focused on him alone.

“Brooke-”

“I don’t want to hear what comes out of your mouth.” You snap at him. “You’re almost twenty-five, and you act like _this?_ ”

His face contorts in anger.

“You were a slut. Still-”

You snap your fingers at Ava who looks upset but confused. You turn your head to her, your glare boring holes through her, and point to her half-empty beer. She hands it to you and you _snatch_ it. When she looks like she’s about to get up you give her a pointed look.

You take a step towards Ethan who scoots back until his back is pressed against a chair.

“Now. Since you want a class on _highschool stereotypes_.” You point to Audrey, “Film geek.” You point to yourself. “Girl who stupidly slept with a teacher, because I never found anyone my age who held my interest, and I liked the danger.”

Ethan opens his mouth, but you take a step closer, eyes flashing to Elliot when he reaches a hand out to stop you. He retracts it.

“Sex isn’t a bad thing, if that’s what you want. You want to sleep with fifty people? Sure. Being a _slut_ is fantastic and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m guessing you’re upset because you _want_ it but don’t get it.” He sucks in a breath like he’s about to be slapped. “I’m only going to say this one time, Ethan. No matter what you want, the answer to any question _you_ specifically have will be the same thing. **_No._ **”

You tip the bottle, dumping the remains of it out on him. You vaguely hear a surprised laugh before someone slaps a hand over their mouth. Ethan gasps out of surprise as his crotch is drenched in alcohol.

When you’re done, you hand Ava her bottle back. She looks upset, and you find a last burst of anger in your chest.

“You want to remove your man?” She blinks at you. “Oh, right, the man you _want_ but doesn’t want you, at fucking all.”

You see her clench her fists before Elliot reaches out to stop her. She listens to him, and you feel someone grab your wrist.

You let Audrey pull you a couple of feet away. 

You continue to glare at Ethan who’s trying to push himself up onto his feet until you feel hands slide to your neck. Thumbs pressing into your cheeks and turning your face to meet hers. You let out a sigh and the anger seeps out of you.

You’re just exhausted now, she seems to know. 

Audrey smiles at you, leaning forward to kiss your forehead and you grip her wrists. You don’t want her to move, to stop touching you.

“I think it’s time to leave.” You nod. “I’m going to get my camera, I set it up by the pond, you grab Shane and we’ll leave.”

You nod again, smiling, “alright.”

She kisses you softly once before moving towards the door. You watch her go, bringing a hand to rub the back of your neck.

You don’t deserve her.

You turn back to the group, “Shane.” He looks at you expectantly. “We’re leaving.”

He just gives you a smile of understanding and reaches for his keys.

Elliot this time, however, stands up and puts himself in front of the door _nervously_ and you eye him.

“ _Dude_ , what are you-”

“You can’t leave yet!”

Before you tell him to move, or before Shane can, your phone rings. You think it could be Audrey so you fish it out of a pocket. You regret the moment you do.

**UNKNOWN NUMBER.**

You look up at Elliot who’s relaxed, pressing the ignore button. He tenses again and you eye him. Your heart is already in your throat and you _hate_ that a part of you might already know, but you’re so pessimistic now the worst fear comes to mind.

Your phone rings again. A facetime request, this time.

“Answer it,” Elliot tells you.

“Brooke, I don’t think-” Shane tries.

“ **Answer** it.” 

You do if only to get Elliot to shut up. He’s taking advantage of your lack of energy to argue. He knows you suffer episodes and you thought he was sympathetic. You plan on dropping him altogether as you answer. You want him to shut up.

You regret answering.

The moment you do that fucking _mask_ attached to someone dressed in black is all you see. You see blood pouring across the floor and you feel your breathing stop. 

It’s not happening again. It’s not. That _mask_ took Riley, Jake, Zoe, your _father._ Killed them with malice and tried to do the same to you, Emma, Audrey, and Noah. It took everything from you. Left you with the episodes you experience, the nightmares, and-

There’s so much dread filling your body. So much fear, you can’t breathe. You know you can’t and you can’t force yourself to. It hurts. Everything hurts. It’s like this black void that you feel swallowing you.

**_“Hello, Brooke.”_ **

And that does it. You drop your phone, letting out a broken scream and you’re vaguely aware of people reaching for you. You step back, unable to see or hear properly because your thoughts are so _loud_ and your legs feel weak.

You don’t remember what happens after that, you’re just vaguely aware people swarm you, and there’s a pain that forms in your leg. Something wet trickling down as everyone backs away from you.

This is the worst it’s been since senior year.

\--

You can’t move and you feel pathetic. What if something happened to Emma? Audrey? You’d never be able to forgive yourself. 

You press your face into your knees, locking your fingers behind your head. Ignoring the pain in your leg.

“-Shane! Is your truck outside?”

“Yeah!”

You freeze, your breathing becomes even more erratic the moment you feel fingers around your wrists. You don’t have enough strength to fight back so you let whoever it's do whatever they want.

Maybe if they kill you, you won’t have to finish college.

You feel someone lean into you, hand wrapped around knees. You swallow and think about running. You’re in such a stupid position, but it’s better than letting someone _hurt_ you- until you hear the voice.

“I need you to sit up.” It's a gentle whisper.

You do, slowly, and she waits patiently. 

You don’t turn your head, but you know it’s Audrey. You know it’s her because she’s the only one who knows she can get that close without being slapped or kicked. 

You feel a kiss press to the side of your head, and a moment later she hooks her arms under your legs and around your torso. You instinctively wrap your arms around her neck and let her pick you up.

She stands up with you in her arms and she adjusts her grip around you safely. You look up to find her looking at you with a soft smile. You swallow. 

You glance down for a moment and see the blood. You’re not even sure how _that_ happened.

“Breathe with me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“In.” You breathe. “One, two, three, four, out.” You breathe out.

She does this for you until you’ve stopped crying. Your grip around her neck tightens and her face is excruciatingly concerned. 

“Can you keep breathing by yourself?”

You nod and continue. 

She waits another minute before readjusting you in her arms letting your head rest against her shoulder, relaxing a little.

She turns in her arms and you can’t see her face but you can feel her neck strain for a moment. She’s holding back some anger and you feel a little satisfied.

“Did you think this was funny?”

You watch the small party of five stunned into silence at the anger and venom laced into her voice. You continue to breathe. 

It’s stupid. It was just a facetime prank You feel stupid. Still, she’s on your side.

“I- it was just a prank.” Elliot tries.

“A prank?” Audrey sounds so angry, and loud. You squirm a little and she takes in a breath, trying to remain calm for you. “A prank? You think this was supposed to be funny? Attacking someone who’s been through this shit?”

“It was supposed to be a prank! Something funny! I didn’t know she was fucking broken!”

You flinch at that. You’re broken.

Your breathing stutters and she adjusts you again, moving her head so her lips graze the top of your head before turning her attention back. She knows you need the reminder of who you’re with, and despite her anger, you’re more important.

“I don’t know who fucking raised you, people,” she tells them, “and if you’d done this to me- every single one of you are fucking assholes. We’ve survived so much, and you want friends you can parade around and say _look I know them!_ None of you deserve to know her.”

There’s a pause.

If any of you contact any of us again, there will be hell to pay.”

She takes a step forward before Elliot steps in front of her.

“Think about this. I could ruin you-”

“Oh, because you’re such a _big_ boy?” she snaps at him. “You’re forgetting, I record everything.”

There’s silence.

“Shane. Get the door.”

 _“Assholes.”_ You swear you hear him tell them.

He doesn’t say anything else. He just rushes towards the door, opens it, and Audrey leaves with you in her arms. She lets you bury your face into her neck and hold her.

The two of you sit in the back of his truck until you reach her place. She only lets go of you for a moment to put you inside it and crawl in with you.

You don’t even question her or Shane, Emma’s boyfriend has a name now when it stops in front of the place Audrey shares with Noah and his girlfriend. She helps you out, giving Shane a quick goodbye and asks him to tell Emma. She lifts you back into her arms.

You don’t know if she knows you’re most comfortable there.

Noah answers the door, and he doesn’t question either of you. He just lets Audrey take you to her room, only asking if you need anything when she reaches the door. You shake your head and he smiles at you.

He’s like a brother to you now.

She takes you to her room and you let her set you down on her bed. She lets you curl into yourself on her bed and watch her as she drops your bag and hers on her floor before getting ready to bed.

Normally you’d feel embarrassed she doesn’t seem to mind getting dressed around you anymore, but you don’t care.

You feel a little numb. You’re exhausted.

When she’s ready she slips into bed next to you and pulls you into her.

You fall asleep with her wrapped around you this time.

\--

You jolt awake, breathing heavily, and rub at your skin that had been drenched in blood in your dream. Your breathing is uneven and erratic.

You do your best to keep quiet. The cries, mutterings, you don't want it to wake her up. She shouldn't have to deal with your brokenness.

You wrap your arms around your knees and press your mouth into them. Hoping she'll stay asleep.

Instead, you feel Audrey sit up and shift. She moves behind you, her legs on either side of you, and presses her front into your back. Your eyes close and you let her wrap her arms around you, she presses her mouth to the back of your neck. You shiver and she sets her chin on your shoulder.

You cry, as silently as possible. 

She holds you, only moving to wrap her arms around your torso when you move your legs.

You feel yourself calming down after awhile. You match the rise and fall of your chest with hers.

You lean your head back against her shoulder, forcing her to lift her head. Your hands lace over the top of her arms wrapped around you. She kisses underneath your jaw _once_ , a place she's never touched you before, and you find yourself sinking back into her.

She takes advantage of this and leans back until she's laying down with you in her arms. When you lift yourself, she eases her grip so you can turn around and position yourself comfortably. She lets you lay on top of her, cheek pressed against her chest, and hands wrapped around her neck.

She moves a hand to pull one of yours from behind her neck, lacing your fingers together. 

It's such a small but intimate gesture- you realize everything so far has been. You move your head and look up at her with your chin on her chest, moving your other arm to lay beneath your chin to cushion it for her. 

You wonder if now, after such a goddamn mess, would be the best time to talk. It's such a quiet and peaceful moment though, where you can pretend, and you don't want to fuck it up.

Instead, you lean up enough to kiss under her chin. It's soft and quick, but enough for her to look down at you with a soft tired smile. 

She's still concerned.

She knows _enough._ Knows one of them prank called you using that _mask_ and taunted you until you broke. Shane called for her, and she came running. Maybe he’s okay.

Her brows dip and you swallow.

"Hey. You okay?"

You nod, moving to rest your cheek against your arm and close your eyes.

"Yeah. With you."

There's a pause of silence before she kisses the top of your head. You hum in reply.

"Let's go back to sleep."

"M'kay."

You pass out against her.

\--

You wake up exhausted, on your front.

It takes too much damn energy to roll around so you’re on your back and your face isn’t pressed dangerously close into a pillow, but you do it anyway. It dawns on you after a moment that you’re alone.

Suddenly you feel even more exhausted. Audrey isn’t here, and you know it’s because she doesn’t sleep until three in the afternoon some days like you do, but there’s a small pang in your chest. You just want your girlfriend to let you curl against her for a week.

 _That’s not realistic._ You tell yourself.

Your eyes flicker to the door when you feel someone watching you. You find Noah standing there, still in his pajamas. All nerdy and _freddy kruger,_ you think that’s the name of the horror monster he likes, he leans against the door frame and smiles at you.

You groan.

“Was that supposed to be hello?” He teases you lightly.

You groan again, lifting your head to level him with a glare.

“Come on, Jensen-”

 _“Maddox.”_ You correct him.

He teases you like that often, calls you by Audrey’s last name, and sometimes you find it amusing. Other times it hurts. You don’t know if the two of you will ever get there.

He rolls his eyes this time and ignores the correction.

“Audrey may let the future Mrs.-” You sit up on your elbows and open your mouth, he raises his hands in defense, “-sleep all day but I won’t. Besides, Willa made something easy to eat. It won’t take a lot of energy.”

You’re grateful he understands your exhaustion. Almost as well as Audrey. Never pushes you to do much except eat when you’re over.

“Cereal?” He rolls his eyes.

“Better. Pancakes.”

You flop against the bed again, groaning in displeasure again. You hear his chuckles as he steps towards the bed. You know you should eat, and his girlfriend’s food is amazing- you just don’t want to get up. You don’t want to do anything. You just want to waste away in bed.

“Come on. Audrey would kill me if I let you rot in this bed.” He extends his hand towards you.

You let out a sigh but reach forward and take it. 

You let him do most of the work, what little strength he has, pulling you into an upright position. You put in minimal effort to push yourself towards the edge and stand up. His hand doesn’t leave yours though, knowing well enough if he did you’d lay back down.

You let him guide you to the kitchen.

Willa smiles at you, placing a plate down in front of you as you take a seat, “Hi Brooke.”

You don’t offer a smile, but it doesn’t upset her. Instead, you offer a small, “Hey.”

It satisfies her. Noah disappears into his room and you’re _relieved_ when you find Willa sitting across the table from you. She doesn’t try to conversate. She picks up the book she’s been reading lately and sips her drink as you eat.

You don’t want to be left alone but you don’t want to talk. She seems to just understand. You wonder if Audrey or Noah has talked to her about you _._

You eat. Slowly. 

Eventually, you’re too curious, and no longer hungry, pushing your plate further away. She takes it without a second thought and scrapes what’s left into the trash.

“Where’s Audrey?” You look around and realize Noah’s bedroom door. “And Noah?”

She smiles, rinsing the plate off.

“They’re working on Audrey’s car.” You raise a brow. “It’s- an alternator issue, I think. I’m not entirely sure, I don’t get cars. I’m just a scientist.”

You raise a brow, you see the amusement and joke behind her words. You offer a slight smile in response.

“Well, I think we’d have better luck. Those two can’t even figure out Ikea furniture.”

Willa laughs this time, and you smile to yourself at the memory. It was a few days after you started dating.

They’d struggled with a fucking _youtube_ tutorial. You rolled your eyes, snatched the instructions out of their hands and Willa helped you put it together. Both of them were stunned the moment they found you could put the poor table together with no issue.

_“I’m studying interior design and dabble in carpentry. I spend a lot of time at Ikea, it’s not hard, you two just lack comprehension-”_

_“I resent that.”_

_“I second Audrey.”_

“Well, you’re right.”

You can tell she wants to ask. Ask if you’re okay. Ask what happened, if you need anything, and the thoughts alone are overwhelming. You’re glad when she turns back to the sink.

You sink into your chair, crossing your arms, and look towards the front door.

You kind of miss Audrey.

You kind of love her, so of course.

\--

You’re on your feet before Willa is on hers. Aware your slightly limp does nothing for you.

You wonder for a second, who cleaned and bandaged it. _Audrey, duh._

You _know_ it’s mostly fear but some part of you will always be driven by fear. The kind that makes it hard to be anything but reactionary. You’re aware Willa is yelling something to you, but you can’t hear her.

_Audrey screamed. Something fell. Noah is with her. What if-_

You yank the door open, and you set your eyes on Audrey’s car. You can’t see her, you can just see the top of Noah’s head.

You rush down the stairs, barefoot, thin pants, and a fucking tanktop in sudden freezing weather. Noah’s head shoots up when he hears you running, and then he looks back down and is hesitant. You’re concerned.

“Hey, Brooke. It’s-”

You push yourself around the vehicle and find yourself frozen when you look at her. The fear rolls off and you sigh in relief, holding a hand to your chest.

She looks up at you and tries to smile, wincing before shaking her hand. Your brows furrow in concern and you reach out a hand towards her, she takes it and lets you pull her up as she flexes her hand, muttering to herself.

“Are you okay?” You try.

She ignores the question and looks down to your feet. You’re standing in a fresh puddle, and she points to your feet.

“It just stopped raining. Why aren’t you wearing any shoes?” She looks up, taking in your current state of dress. “Why don’t you have a jacket? It’s like forty-something, you could catch a cold-”

“Audrey.” She stops, blinking at you. “I heard you yell. Stop worrying about my lack of efficient clothing and _please_ tell me if you’re okay.”

She blinks again like it’s finally dawned on her how worried you were. _Why_ you were worried. 

She offers that sweet smile she gives you when she _knows_ and gives you her hand. The one she’d been flexing. It’s a little red like something had fallen on it, but she doesn’t flinch when your fingers run across its skin and begin to massage circles into the back of it.

You chew the inside of your mouth.

“I’m okay. I promise.” You believe her. “I was just being a little careless, and Noah-”

“Accidentally moved the vehicle, so something fell.” Noah finishes, reaching forward and smiling at you before squeezing your shoulder.

His eyes glance behind you and you’re aware Willa must be waiting. He slips away without saying anything.

You just stare at her hand, you can feel how cold it is. She must have been out here for a while. The thought is a little odd but funny to you. She doesn’t really care if she’s freezing as long as the job gets done.

 _You_ care though. It’s similar in a way when reversed. 

“Hey.” She takes a step forward.

You look up at her through your bangs, swallowing. You’re still tense, still, a little scared of the what if’s, but it’s easing away. Like a blanket being pulled from you slowly. The longer you’re with her, the more it feels like she is okay.

“It really was a dumb idea for you to come out here with at least no shoes on.” It’s a joke.

It does get a laugh out of you, enough for her to grin back as you roll your eyes. 

“Come here.” She reaches forward, wrapping her arms around you.

You let out a relieved sigh and move your arms to wrap around her neck. Like they belong there. She squeezes you tight, lifting you off of your feet for a moment. You smile against her neck, hiding your face there. She’s happy to just let you.

You stay like that for a moment or a few.

You feel a little lighter.

\--

Stavo calls.

Your ex. The man who left you because he realized he couldn’t have something you couldn’t give him. He wasn’t upset in the way you thought he’d be, he was _hurt_ , but he wasn’t angry at you.

He never calls you. He hasn’t for a year, since he’d drunkenly called you and begged for you to love him.

So he calls and you stumble to answer the phone, slipping out of the house and sitting on the porch. You feel like you owe him at least answering his phone calls because he won’t take your apologies and his replies to your texts are usually so short-

You breathe out a _hey._

_“I heard what happened.”_

You freeze, undecided if you want to reply or hang up. Hanging up would relieve you from this conversation, and you don’t have a reply.

“Oh.” Is all you find yourself saying.

_“Yeah. Emma told me. I- Brooke- are you-”_

“Please, don’t ask.”

It’s a broken whisper, and he _knows_ you. He should know you can’t handle it right now, it’s barely been a day since, and- you breathe. It’s not his fault. He’s worried.

 _It’s not his fault. He’s worried. We’re still friends._ _Who barely talk._

_“Right. Sorry.”_

Silence lingers for a moment. It feels uncomfortable and like there’s a weight that comes with it, but you don’t budge first. You’ve never been good with _this._ The awkwardness and trying to move forward to be friends again.

Maybe it’s your fault that-

_“She said...Audrey was there. Are you two-”_

You swallow, nodding like he can see you.

“Yeah. Three months.”

There’s another moment of silence.

_“You know, Jake-”_

“Stavo-” You try to warn him.

You feel the lump begin to form.

It’s so heavy and knotted in your throat. Like a flash that makes you sob once, hand covering your mouth, as you see it. See _him._

Jake’s body at your feet, gutted, and the blood clinging to you. It feels like it’s still weighing you down even still. No one brings up Jake unless they have to. Not to you. Not even his parents and you-

**_Fuck._ **

_“Listen. I think you need to hear this.”_ His voice is soft, knowing, there’s no malice, _“Jake would be happy for you. I didn’t know him, but we both know he would. He’d be telling you to embrace how you feel. I never blamed you, but Brooke, you can’t hold yourself back.”_

“I come with darkness, Stavo. A lot of it.”

 _“You know that’s not what I meant, Brooke._ ” There’s a pause. _“You know she already accepts you right? We all do. Audrey, out of all of us, has her own darkness, and- sometimes you need a reminder that people still care. That you’re not a burden to us.”_

“I-”

 _“You’re observant, so you should know none of us treat you like a burden. You’re one of us. You’re- part of us, and those people weren’t your friends but Brooke, we’re_ **_family_ ** _. You’re a goddamn blessing to us. Ask Audrey, she’ll agree.”_

You choke out a laugh against the lump in your throat. Moving your free hand to wipe at your eyes.

It takes you a minute to swallow the lump, the overwhelming feelings that have built-in your chest before you can reply.

“Thanks, Stavo.”

 _“Anytime Maddox.”_ You hear his laugh. _“By the way If Audrey doesn’t hook that motherfucker in the jaw sometime soon, let me know, I’ll come up there to do it myself.”_

You laugh again.

“Okay. I will.”

You feel lighter, hopeful.

\--

Audrey slips into the space next to you, blinking her eyes tiredly like she’s still overcoming that haze when you first wake up- and it’s charming in an odd way.

She runs a hand through her hair, and closes an eye, keeping the other cracked and trying her hardest to stay focused on you. It’s enough to make you smile as you wipe your eyes, and watch her. 

“Hey.”

You rest your arm against her knee and watch as she blinks again, trying her hardest. You chuckle.

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

You smile at her, _bright_ for once, and it makes her blink again like she’s seen the sun. You watch her take a sharp breath at the sight of it.

Your smile grows a little more.

“Can I be honest, with you?”

“Yeah. Do you think you shouldn't be-”

And you silence her. You kiss her. Her hands slip to your neck, holding you as close as possible. Your hands curl around her waist, something you don’t do often, and you press forward.

You pull back first, leaving her in a daze that makes her blink.

“I don’t know what’s happening.” She tells you after a moment.

You laugh.

“I’m still- _there_. I don’t feel a hundred percent but, I feel hopeful. I just wanted you to know I appreciate you. You’re my favorite person.”

She blinks the daze away, _almost_ completely, and you watch as she clears her throat.

“You’re my favorite person too.”

You smile at her. She smiles back.

You feel hopeful.


End file.
